Today, I am in tears. Not only is it my father’s birthday, it feels like this nightmare will never end. Instead of continuing the story of my journey through probate, I want to talk about what is happening now. It is hard to believe that someone I once called my sister could be so hateful. Even when it comes at a cost to her.

My dad’s anniversary of his death is fast approaching. On Christmas Day, it will be three years since he passed. I found out recently that we are looking at another four to six months until probate might be over. This is not what he would have wanted.

Why Hasn’t Probate Closed?

That’s a good question. I do not want to get into all the technicalities of probate or my father’s will. That is for a later blog. But, long story short, my sister keeps raising objections in court to reports the estate lawyer has filed on my behalf as the executor. Normally, objections are filed prior to the court date, so that a response may be prepared before going in front of the judge. My sister prefers to object in person which causes a continuation of the case. Each subsequent court date is scheduled two to three months out and costs money.

Most of her objections concern my father’s business and her mistaken belief that she became an owner of the business when he died. Based on communications between her and the estate lawyer, it appears her goal is to accuse me of incompetence and misdoings with the end result being she receives the majority of our inheritance. That will never happen, but she keeps trying.

In email correspondence, she implies she is not responsible for any lost funds of the business and will split funds from the date of death records. Basically, she is saying she is not responsible for any debts of the business, and any expenses paid on behalf of the business should come from my share of the estate.

She rambles on about unemployment records, profit and loss statements and VIN numbers of work trucks. She is digging to try to find something unethical on my part. There is nothing to find.

Her emails are hard to understand and make it appear she is manic. It’s difficult to reason with someone like her.

My Sister’s Accusations Hurt

What is happening now are accusations with no proof of wrongdoing. Her claims are baseless and hurtful.

In a text message early on, she implicated I stole $75,000 in December of 2020 from my father’s business. Her reasoning? The December bank statement showed $74,000 in income, but $75,000 in expenses. According to her, a business never pays more than what it takes in within a month. Mind you, my father was still running his business in December of 2020. Well, he was until December 25th. There was no withdrawal on any statement to back up her allegation. How do you answer that?

In her paranoia, she has decided our uncle and I are working together to defraud her. She accuses our uncle of forging checks in an email and asks to be proven wrong. She never mentions a specific check or an actual amount of money. Does she think he forged every check written after December 25. 2020? It is a ridiculous accusation.

Her abuse of the company’s bookkeeper is ongoing. My sister continually charges that the bookkeeper stole money. She did not. My sister insults the bookkeeper on social media including posting pictures of her car and license plate. Why? I don’t know. This woman worked for my dad for over a decade and is loyal and honest. This should not be allowed.

Does My Sister Understand What is Happening Now?

I want to take a moment to talk about probate or inheritance advances. How these are legal is beyond my comprehension. My sister has taken four probate advances out to date. What she is doing is selling off a portion of her inheritance to receive cash now. The estate is then served with paperwork which requires the executor to pay back the portion of the inheritance sold plus any applicable fees. So, I must reimburse these companies before my sister receives any payout of her remaining inheritance.

The fees are astounding. My sister has received $65,000 in cash so far. The fees on this amount of money total $49,000. Let me do the math for you. When probate closes, I will be writing a check for $114,000 to these inheritance advance companies from my sister’s half of the estate. Now, if the companies receive their money within a certain time frame, they will issue her a small rebate. Because she keeps fighting probate, all the deadlines but one have passed. The most she can get back is $4,000. What is she thinking? That is a loss of $45,000!

While my dad did well for himself, he was not a millionaire. Does she realize she has spent over two-thirds of her inheritance? I asked her about this once. Her reply was that the loan companies did not own a piece of her inheritance unless I sold it. I did not know what that meant. My sister could not explain it either. It leads me to believe she really doesn’t understand what is happening. Please stay far away from these unethical companies.

Should I Even Share What is Happening Now?

Why am I sharing our “dirty laundry”? I am not sure. I do find it cathartic to write about this. Sometimes, I feel like I am the crazy one. I doubt myself and the decisions I have made. My lawyer ensures me I have done a good job, but it would have been easier if I had known more about how probate works. This is why I am telling my story.

To read more about the greatest dad of all time, check out my first blog here.

Share your probate stories in the comment section below. I may just use one in an upcoming blog